death

my family has this morbid habit of talking about death. maybe it's normal but it seems every time we get together someone starts the "when i die..." conversation until everyone in the room knows the details of the person's wishes for her funeral, her will, and her burial.
the other day, i asked them to stop. i was told i shouldn't hide from death... talking about it makes it real.
but i don't agree. i think being surrounded by it makes it real.
i've seen lung cancer and alzheimers eat away at all of my grandparents. i have a close friend who is dying of a brain tumor. this past summer, i spent more time at the funeral home than the swimming pool. and then, two days ago, a former teacher of mine lost her daughter to a head-on collision.
with all of this death - why do we need to talk about it? when my mother dies, am i really going to remember one random wednesday afternoon conversation when she told me over a platter of taco bell that i got to have her handmade quilt when she died? and does knowing that make death any more real to me? and is it even healthy for me to spend so much time thinking about my mother's passing that i feel "better prepared" for it when it happens?
personally, i think walking into the funeral home tonight will bring reality home much better than any conversation ever could.