late nights part ii

so tonight, my definition of a late night is 10:20 pm (much earlier than the previous post). this is after a consecutive round of sleepless nights and extended work days. i can't remember the last time i slept through the entire night, without interruptions of dreams or cat-pouncing. a lack of sleep - quality sleep - results in a lack of appetite, a lack of healthy habits, a lack of motivation.
at some point, i really need to get back on track.

my sophomores just finished reading the great gatsby. the last line of that incredible book keeps reverberating in me - "so we beat on boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." gatsby believed he could repeat the past. and although nick, the narrator, said we couldn't, his last words are still that last quote. we definitely can't repeat the past but there's no denying its impact on our present. i'm sure everybody can point out people, events, and decisions that have shaped them into who they are today. some of mine...

my ex-boyfriend from high school. he made me independent. and overly jealous.
my college adviser who told me i'd make a good 'substitute.' she made me a great teacher instead.
my failure to reach several academic goals in high school. that made me forever insecure regarding intelligence and talents.
my decision to move back to lebanon. it made me grow up, find success, and led me to jesse.

there are many more. i'm sure you have many yourself.
but we must beat on, our boats against the current. otherwise, what did we learn from it all?