Friendships at 30
If my past week was a novel, one of its major themes would be the evolution of friendship... the ways that friendships change and evolve over time.
In middle school, friendships were based so much on popularity. I wanted to be friends with the popular girls, regardless of the fact that we had absolutely nothing in common.
In high school, your friends are your world. You're together all the time and when you're not together, you're on the phone together. Your parents annoy you so you go to your friends in times of need and celebration.
In college, your friends become your family. You are together 24/7 and your friends finally grow into people that you can see as lifelong friends - people who have the same beliefs as you or were raised similar to you.
Then, after college, everything changes. We become adults. We move away from our family of friends. We begin focusing on our jobs or grad school. We start dating the person who will be our lifelong partner and that relationship requires most of our time. We live in our own homes so we cook, we clean, and we worry about money. Before long, we're even planning weddings or having children. Everything changes.
With those changes, an evolution of friendship is necessary. We no longer have the time for late night phone conversations and weekly girls' nights. We've lost the energy and motivation for bar-hopping and our work lives are so hectic, we crave silent nights at home. The phone calls and visits dwindle away until we're lucky if we have a solid conversation or get-together once a month. We try to use emails or text msgs to keep in touch, but it's not the same. We're not the same.
Fortunately, another way we evolve is that we understand each other. We aren't needy or demanding of our friends$. We aren't jealous or insecure when other friends come into our lives. We know that our friends are there when we need them and, until then, we learn to treasure the moments we do get together.
Most importantly, we learn, more than ever, that although our friends aren't our family, we'll always love them like they are.
In middle school, friendships were based so much on popularity. I wanted to be friends with the popular girls, regardless of the fact that we had absolutely nothing in common.
In high school, your friends are your world. You're together all the time and when you're not together, you're on the phone together. Your parents annoy you so you go to your friends in times of need and celebration.
In college, your friends become your family. You are together 24/7 and your friends finally grow into people that you can see as lifelong friends - people who have the same beliefs as you or were raised similar to you.
Then, after college, everything changes. We become adults. We move away from our family of friends. We begin focusing on our jobs or grad school. We start dating the person who will be our lifelong partner and that relationship requires most of our time. We live in our own homes so we cook, we clean, and we worry about money. Before long, we're even planning weddings or having children. Everything changes.
With those changes, an evolution of friendship is necessary. We no longer have the time for late night phone conversations and weekly girls' nights. We've lost the energy and motivation for bar-hopping and our work lives are so hectic, we crave silent nights at home. The phone calls and visits dwindle away until we're lucky if we have a solid conversation or get-together once a month. We try to use emails or text msgs to keep in touch, but it's not the same. We're not the same.
Fortunately, another way we evolve is that we understand each other. We aren't needy or demanding of our friends$. We aren't jealous or insecure when other friends come into our lives. We know that our friends are there when we need them and, until then, we learn to treasure the moments we do get together.
Most importantly, we learn, more than ever, that although our friends aren't our family, we'll always love them like they are.
posted by lethes | 11:49 AM
1 Comments:
love you.
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